Freedom: Spoken Word & a PSA to Stop Playing Yourself in these Creative Streets

Today I'm sharing my newest piece, Freedom, about my natural hair journey. I performed this piece at an open mic recently, and in this episode, I share tidbits of wisdom I gained from stepping out of my comfort zone. 

Transcript

Raya: 0:01

What's up everybody? Welcome back to the Shared Creativity Podcast, the podcast about creatives for creatives. And today's episode is a short one. I just wanted to share my poem that I wrote earlier this month and that I shared an open mic last week. I wanted to talk about the origins of this poem and also what that performance showed me. So this poem is called Freedom and it's basically about my hair journey as a black woman. So let's get into it. Here is freedom. I got my first fade when I was 19 as an act of defiance. This metaphorical resistance to a generational process of perfection complete with a flat iron, and my mom begging me to let her bump the ends transforming me into a presentable black girl. I can tell you when I got my first fade, that was the first time I felt truly beautiful, trimmed of critique in comparison in this facade to be cut at the root. See, me and my hair have always had a love hate relationship. Sometimes she's my frienemy and I can comb through my memory and relay all the times I've tried to achieve a hairstyle she did not want me to have. She makes me codependent because I'm constantly looking for others to affirm her being, but she never cares, so she exists to spite me. She's non-compliant. Her and the barber wrestle to see who will win the battle, and the barber always taps out. She's a menace to society because no matter what form she shows up in, someone will always take issue with her arrival, and sometimes that person is me. I'm programmed into hating the thickness, hating the hidden curls and wondering why she chooses to grow wild instead of what's considered tame. And when I asked her, she told me all she wants to be is herself. So I honor her. I massage my scalp with oils and let her know she's worthy of my affection. I deep condition with delicate hands so she knows I care about her tender follicles and I let her grow wild in her natural habitat, and I will no longer hold her captive to what is deemed acceptable. I'm grateful for the days of blue magic, of pink lotion and sitting on a pillow in front of my mother. I'm grateful for the barrettes, the twists on picture day, but I'm more grateful for Black women being beautiful in their own eyes and loving their hair well and often and fully. Dear Black women, you owe zero explanations for your hair. You don't need to explain your kinky curls one day or your wig the next. You don't need to invite people into the space that you and your hair share because it is sacred. When I was 19, I got my first fade, and as my curls cascaded down to the floor, I made a promise to love the next generation that will grow in her place. I extend to my hair what every black woman longs for. A chance to feel free. So that is freedom and it is the true story of me chopping all of my hair off when I was 19 in my, was going into junior year of college. And it was literally the, probably the most liberating thing I've ever done in my life to this day. And I ended up cutting it again. But it was, it was not the same effect. It was just a one time thing, I guess but definitely talking about those moments in a black girl's life where you are stripped from this comparison and being critiqued cuz often as we see with the Crown Act, as we see with how black women are presented in the workplace, as we see in just literally every space that a black woman can occupy, there will always be a problem coming from other people. And so I chose to tackle this idea with my art, I'm really thankful for the people who tune into the spoken word aspects of this podcast as well, because we're definitely blending niches over here. Like while I want this to be a space for creatives, I just want it to be creativity altogether. When I performed that, like I was a little bit nervous because the space wasn't really black women heavy, but even people who did not identify as, you know, black women have also had struggles with their hair. I think for women in general, hair can be a, a hard subject to grapple with. I had a lot of people come up to me and say that they loved it. So and I think in, in doing this performance, I kind of broke out of the, the fear that I was talking about last week. I find that the more that I do things that make me uncomfortable, the more that I become assured that I'm supposed to be doing the things that make me uncomfortable. Like after that, I was so wired, I was like, Now we gotta write more. Like now we gotta be ready for the next one. Now we have to do this. Now we have to do that. Now I have new ideas. Now I'm looking on Instagram and I'm like, Ooh, that is a poem right there and I should write that and it's very exciting. And that comes from the aftermath of facing fears, and nobody told me. You think you're protecting yourself by not doing the things that make you afraid, when really you're hindering yourself, when really you're playing yourself. You are playing yourself. So here's to you not playing yourself anymore. If you got anything, you ain't have to like the poem, but one thing I'm gonna tell you, stop playing yourself. Stop playing yourself and ask yourself what you're really afraid of. And if it's logical cuz a lot of times my fears are so illogical. They really are. They're irrational. They don't make any sense. But now I have to be able to look in the mirror and say, I'm not afraid. Like, have you seen home alone? Where he comes out of the house and he's like, I'm not afraid anymore. Maybe that's what you gotta do. I'm gonna come walking outta my house, going into open mics and saying, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm courageous. I'm bold, I'm worthy. I work hard. You work hard, and you deserve every bit of success that comes your way. So do it. So if you guys wanna hear more poems, more creativity, let me know by going to Sheer Creativity on Instagram@sheercreativity and following me and leaving a comment. Let me know that you're listening. Let me know what's up. Also, follow our newsletter, which will be in the show notes. Thoughts Previously unwritten. Now I'm thinking that it's too long of a title, so y'all help me name this newsletter cuz it's driving me crazy and y'all I know this one is a short one, but I hope you like the poem. I hope you have a great day. I hope you are prioritizing creativity in some way, some form and prioritize yourselves cuz you're worth it. All right, y'all. Bye.