Reflections on Q1 of 2023: Doing vs Being, Triumphs & Future Fears

Quarter One of 2023 is officially over on Friday, March 31. As creatives, this is the time to reflect over what goals we’ve achieved thus far and what adjustments we can make to reach our fullest capabilities. In this episode, I get real about my future goals for this podcast and beyond. Hopefully this helps you not feel alone in your journey toward pressing past your fears. 

Order Laraya's poetry book Words from a Wanderer on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/words-wanderer-collection-Laraya-Billups/dp/057899996X

Transcript

Raya: 0:01

What's up everybody? Welcome back to the Sheer Creativity Podcast, the podcast about creatives for creatives. And today we're gonna be doing a little bit of reflection. So for me personally, I wrote out quarterly goals for the year and quarter one is about to end March 31st, and I wanted to talk more about what those goals look like for me as a creative and also how we can keep ourselves going throughout the year. I got this idea to write out quarterly goals from the To My Sisters podcast. And if you haven't listened to them, they're phenomenal when it comes to personal development and womanhood, sisterhood, and all the things. I highly recommend them. But anyway they had suggested quarterly goals because I think sometimes writing out goals for the year can feel very overwhelming, and you're more susceptible to forget those goals throughout the year. because you're only looking at them in January and then here comes December and you haven't done any of those goals. So quarterly goals are a good way to reset, reflect, and really hone in on what you wanna do. So I wrote out some quarterly goals for this year, both in creative and personal because the ending of 2022 was kind of hard on your girl when it came to writing out goals. I'm always very reflective at the end of the year. So at the end of 2021, I had already written out these goals for 2022. By the end of 2022, I was disappointed in myself. I had these big, lofty goals that I knew I wanted to accomplish, but I ended up only completing one of those goals consistently. I was proud of that one goal. It was something that I really wanted to invest in and do. However, I felt like I didn't do enough or that my success did not look like I wanted it to look. And so I was writing about this because it was weighing heavy on my mind. So I was writing about this one night, and this is the poem that came to me. I'll read it to you guys. And I haven't really named it yet. The poem says, don't overlook just being, when waking is your only notable accomplishment. And growth appears redundant. A constant decision to delve into new days, challenged and chiseled into a new creation. and battling through the usual thoughts that ensue. It's in the unspoken work where the most wisdom resides, and I think wisdom smiles back at me in the mirror. She's proud that I've arrived at my destination. Ultimately, those words that I wrote down as I thought over my 2022, and I felt like it didn't amount to what I thought it would be. The words"just being" really resonated with me because my ultimate, my ultimate purpose as a creative or as a person isn't just to do things. It's to be, it's to be in the moment and that really blessed my life. I mean, the goal is not to do, it's to be. I now go back to those lines consistently in every area of my life, whether that be creation, whether that be relationships, whether that's career, because at the end of the day, I'm not here to be a machine. I'm here to be a person. With a purpose to live, to enjoy, to be and creating is informed by me living. Creation flows out of me just because I'm being in the world. I want to step into this conversation within a podcast episode because it's important for creatives to reflect. We get caught up in the doing and in the titles and in the social media tunnels that we forget to be in the moment where creativity really stems from. So hopefully you enjoy reflecting with me and hopefully we can build goals together and really look forward to what we can do as artists, as creatives in our lives this year. Let me give y'all some of the goals that I made for this first quarter of the year. Um, so just for context, January to March 31st, quarter one, then April to June 30th, quarter two. July to, is it September? July to September, yeah. And then it's October to December is quarter four. So let's talk about what I had planned for quarter one for this podcast specifically. Here's what I've realized about myself during the creation of this podcast and also in different other arenas in my life. When I get an idea, I run with that idea and I put it together very quickly, which is one of my favorite qualities about myself. I am very much a trial and error type of person and if there's something that I want to do, but I don't know much about it, I'll learn how to do it. I can put stuff together very quickly. I learn very fast. Now, the not so beneficial part of that is that I rarely lead with my logical side. I am always, I'm a right-brained person. I am creative and I just, I started losing important details in the putting together things. I'd lose all practicality. And so there are different things that I should have thought about that I did not think about until now and there are certain setbacks that I think I did not take fully into account, and one of those is sound quality. I don't know much about podcasts. You see this is very much a grassroots operation over here. We are figuring it out as we go along, but I know more than what I did when I started. So figuring out sound quality was really important to me because I don't like putting out mediocre stuff. and I. I don't like when I bring other people into it, I want them to feel like this is official, like I want them to feel like they're on a quality platform. I felt a little bit taken aback in what I felt like I had to learn about sound quality and finding a decent mic, and everybody's saying different things about different mics. So I don't know what's best for me. But now I got a mic and now I'm figuring it out, and I'm really, I'm happy about the people, the creatives, the amazing people that I've been able to meet on this podcast, and also my friends who join me on the podcast to talk about all the amazing things that they do. I'm so thankful for you guys for giving me the time of day just to talk just to talk about things that are important to you and things that you have done. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast and being open to me interviewing you. And speaking of interviews, another setback that I feel like I encountered this quarter was struggling to get interviews that work with my schedule. Like ole girl works, a nine to five and it was difficult to work people within my schedule or work within their schedule because we're creatives and we are busy and we are making stuff happen. So I wanted to diversify my content a little bit and make it more of a holistic, creative space where we talk about not just creativity from interviews, but also advice for a burnt out creative or finding new content. Those setbacks have really challenged me to think beyond what I thought this podcast could be and really stretch myself because talking is not my strong suit, which I'll talk about more. But being able to share my heart as a creative is something that I'm really passionate about, and I'm excited that I have this platform to do that and that people lent their creative knowledge to me. and trusted me with their stories on this platform. So thank y'all so much. Ever since then, we got 200 downloads since January 1st when I dropped my first episode, and that's great. We got over 130 followers on Instagram. Our website is set up, I don't know why I say our because it's just me, but our website is set up and I've recorded nine interviews with amazing creatives. I have more lined up and we're popular in multiple states. Shout out to Georgia because y'all be listening to me, shout out to them and I even have one lister in Costa Rica, which is very random, but thank you for tuning in. Um, so yeah, I feel like quarter one has been great podcast wise. I have more downloads than I thought I would and I think it's been challenging me to be less of an imposter syndrome type of creative. It's interesting because I'm like, nobody, people really gonna listen to this. People really gonna like this. It's really affirming to know that people support and are interested in the things that I have to say. We're just doing bigger and better in quarter two. I wanna talk to men. I wanna talk to more men, specifically black men, black male creators. Holler at me like we need to do interviews cuz I love interviewing my black women. I love it, but I'm missing y'all's voices and shout out to Lacroy and Bunmi who came on the podcast. But I need more of y'all. Where y'all at? If you want to be interviewed on the podcast, anybody, you can fill out the Google form on our Instagram, um, in our Linktree, there's a link that says, be a guest on the podcast. Fill it out, talk to your girl. It's gonna be a great time. Quarter two is all about stepping up in creative conversations, creative advice, um, and just talking about what is important to creatives at this time. I would love to have a conversation about how AI artistry is kind of hurting the arts community. I wanna have conversations about things that are important to you guys. Another area that I'm focused on in quarter two coming up is my writing. So of course I'm a creative as well, and I've been writing poetry for, wow, how long have I been writing poetry? I'll tell y'all a quick story. So I've always been a writer. I remember writing from a very young age, and this is kind of embarrassing, but I'm gonna say it anyway. When I was in the fifth grade, I used to write like spinoffs to the Twilight Saga because that was really popular at the time, and I, I loved it. That's how I started writing short stories. But poetry did not come until much later. Poetry came about in my senior year of high school. There was an assignment where we had to read one non-fiction novel and one fiction novel and compare the two. And so I chose, I Know Why The Cage Bird Sings by Maya Angelou as my non-fiction novel, probably the most heart-wrenching book I've ever read. And then my fiction novel, which was kind of creative non-fiction, but it was Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson. And I compared those two things and they're both poets. So I wrote my first real life poem as part of the, um, presentation that we had to do on those books. So that's how I really started getting into poetry. But since my book Words from a Wanderer has been out for two years now, almost two years, um, I have kind of felt, and I talk about this in the Frustrated with Art episode, but I've felt really disconnected from writing in my usual way, and I felt frustrated with it. But now I'm finding my new style of writing. And I think a lot of that comes from the shift of what's important to me right now as an individual. And sometimes when you're a creative, what's important to you as an individual bleeds into what you create. And so I'll tell you guys, I started a new poetry project and I'm not sure when it would be finished. It's very much still new. I'm excited about writing more in this new style with this new type of content and I think it's gonna be vastly different than Wanderer was, but I know when it's finished, and I'm gonna just speak this out into the atmosphere because I feel it to be true. There are certain artists that have quintessential works. When you think of Kendrick Lamar, the first album you'll probably think of is Good Kid, mad City. When you think of SZA, I mean, she got this new project out right now, but you're always gonna think of CTRL. This new project, it's gonna be how people know me. It's gonna be the breakout album. I already feel that, and I hope that doesn't sound cocky, but it's just, I've been honing in on this craft for so long that I know that how vulnerable it is, how much work I'm putting into it. I know it's gonna be good, and sometimes you have to speak that as a creative. I have to start looking at it as not being cocky or arrogant, but I'm just confident in what I'm doing right now. So writing is definitely a focus quarter two. And then another thing that kind of goes into writing, but this is more so a uncharted territory type of thing for me. I want to get into slam poetry, and if you think that poetry and slam poetry are the same thing, slam poetry takes it a whole different level. Writing poetry for people to read is one thing, but being articulate enough to convey it on a stage is something completely different. What makes that uncharted territory for me is that I know I am not the most eloquent speaker, which I, I know is ironic because I have this podcast, but along with interviewing creatives and inspiring creative conversations and speaking about different things, I really started this podcast to grow comfortable with the sound of my own voice, which is why I haven't done interviews in a while, because I need to hear myself talk and I need to be confident in what I have to say because this is an arena that I wanna go into going forward into this year. Speaking is actually very difficult for me because I get tongue tied very easily and I start stuttering which has been a source of embarrassment for me for a very long time. And I think what's weird about that is that I often gravitate to things where speaking is the main component for expressing myself. Like for instance, I work in marketing and that's my nine to five. So I'm often speaking with the public, and I gravitate toward that weakness because I really desire to grow in that area. And creatively, I wanna start participating in slam competitions for poetry because I want to be a performer and starting that journey is terrifying, especially for someone who isn't that great at communicating. Like there's many times in this podcast where I have to go back and say different things again because I, I trip over my words a little bit. So it's, It's a terrifying thought to be in front of people sharing my most intimate thoughts on a stage and I don't know how they're gonna react to me. But with that being said, I realized a couple days ago, and it really just dawned on me. I'm entering my mid twenties in a few months in July, July 7th to be exact. I'll be 24 years old, and I don't want to keep limiting myself based on fears that probably won't amount to much when I'm older. You know, who says that I will have this limitation if I work on it now, who says I'll have this limitation in the future? So, you know what? I'm just gonna do it. I'm going to stand on a stage and I'm gonna share my writing with the world. And if I trip over my words, so be it and whoever rocks with my words will rock with me. But what people won't say is that they did not see me up there on that stage. What they won't say is that I never stepped out on faith to see what effect my poetry would actually have. I'm dead set on doing hard things, and maybe that needs to be your goal this year. Do one hard thing every quarter. Then by the end of the year, you've done four hard things that you thought you would never do. Start out small. Maybe I'll record an episode about how it goes. I have different open mics that are coming up in my area and we'll see if I step out and have something prepared. And also, I would love to know how slam poets remember all those words. And what really made me also feel confident in performing is that I went to an event where, I mean, these are seasoned poets, I mean poets that you would know by name. and even they mess up. Even they forget lines, even they have to go back and look on their phone and be like, so what was the line there? even. They have to go back and reassess and reevaluate. So it's okay if you're new, it's okay. Step out on faith. See what happens. So with those things being said, quarter two, if I had to give it a name, possibly it would be called exploration. I say exploration because I'm embracing new things. From April to June, I am just embracing different things that I thought I would never do. I'm gonna be performing, I'm going to be writing more and embracing new content. I'm gonna be traveling to a new state. Traveling is also something that I want to do each quarter, and it doesn't have to be big, like my travel for quarter one was going into the mountains of Virginia to ski, to ski, snow tube and do different things. But my quarter two trip, I'm going to Illinois to see my best friend graduate and it's gonna be a great time. We'll see what happens for the other two. I have some, some things in the works, but I'm definitely just going to be exploring my craft and doing different things that I thought I would never do. I don't wanna be afraid to do things all the time. So hopefully you liked this reflections of quarter one episode, and if you want me to do it for each quarter, I'm down for that. I feel like it's really helpful for us to reflect and evaluate what has worked, to review successes and see what adjustments we can make to the goals that didn't pan out as we thought they would. So I'm really excited for the episodes I have planned for April. If you don't know, April is National Poetry Month. I am going to be sharing some of my favorite poems that I've written from words from a wanderer, and maybe some of my favorite poets. I'll share some of their poetry as well and say why I like it. But guys, thank you for listening. Definitely if you wanna be a guest on the podcast, fill out the Google form that is on my Linktree on Instagram. Also leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening that allows you to leave a review. Let me know what you guys think, like, comment all the things, and I'll see you guys later.